Scene:
Pans across a scene of an incubation system, at the end eggs are being sorted into different sections.
Scene:
Cuts to a scene of children in groups of feather colors. In the background, there’s a chart, showing a sort of caste system in this society.
Scene:
Crossfades to Faigel (our hero) looking for a job a tropical society of bird-like people. She’s of one of the caste systems lower sections, showing that she was bred to not be as smart, but obviously is.
Scene:
She’s turned down based on the caste system, and what the color of someone’s feathers says about their mentality.
Scene:
Faigel gets angry, pointing out the system is stupid and that she’s more than capable of a simple job.
Scene:
The interviewer kicks her out and Faigel falls on the ground.
Scene:
She’s helped up by someone of similar feather color, who agrees the system is stupid. Faigel suggests they try and do something about it. The other person agrees.
Scene:
They take to streets, asking for others to join their cause. (Someone in background is shown alerting authorities)
Scene:
Some people join, inspired by Faigel and shown to be previously disgusted by the system (though afraid to show it)
Scene:
They get arrested after the group becomes too big.
Scene:
Cut to jail. Faigel visibly upset with her friends, her life ruined by this system. Her new friend comforts her, stating they won't be the last to do this.
Scene:
Shot of her face zooms out, showing the entire jail cell.
Possible Ending 1:
Crossfades to a boy reading in a cafe about the failed uprising. The paper lowers to show a boy of the same-ish color feathers as Faigel. He stands up, inspired by her story and starts to speak. Fade to black.
Possible Ending 2:
Crossfades to someone reading a report about the failed uprising. The papers lower to show a regal figure (the leader of the society) with many different feather colors. He grins, happy the uprising against his caste system got put to rest.
Possible Ending 3:
Crossfades to someone reading a report about the failed uprising, and different events happening as a result of the inspiration of Faigel. The papers lower to show a regal figure (the leader of the society) with many different feather colors. His face is sour, visibly upset that his caste system is being threatened thanks to Faigel.
Scene:
They take to streets, asking for others to join their cause. (Someone in background is shown alerting authorities)
Scene:
Some people join, inspired by Faigel and shown to be previously disgusted by the system (though afraid to show it)
Scene:
They get arrested after the group becomes too big.
Scene:
Cut to jail. Faigel visibly upset with her friends, her life ruined by this system. Her new friend comforts her, stating they won't be the last to do this.
Scene:
Shot of her face zooms out, showing the entire jail cell.
Possible Ending 1:
Crossfades to a boy reading in a cafe about the failed uprising. The paper lowers to show a boy of the same-ish color feathers as Faigel. He stands up, inspired by her story and starts to speak. Fade to black.
Possible Ending 2:
Crossfades to someone reading a report about the failed uprising. The papers lower to show a regal figure (the leader of the society) with many different feather colors. He grins, happy the uprising against his caste system got put to rest.
Possible Ending 3:
Crossfades to someone reading a report about the failed uprising, and different events happening as a result of the inspiration of Faigel. The papers lower to show a regal figure (the leader of the society) with many different feather colors. His face is sour, visibly upset that his caste system is being threatened thanks to Faigel.
Hey Annie - okay - so yes, this is already much stronger; you're challenge will be a visual one in the first set of scenes to establish very quickly the relationship between eggs/breeding/caste. In terms of showing that she's smarter than her caste, you'll need this to visual too - so it might as simply as setting things up in the beginning that there are readers and non-readers and your hero is a 'non-reader' - except, we're shown that she a) she can read and b) what she reads tells her/us about the injustice of 'non-readers' being bred for menial tasks (and a shorter life etc). I can help thinking here about battery hens etc...
ReplyDeleteI think your ending has to be No 1 - a sense of a hierarchy crumbling, that start of a #metoo moment, and your story is the birth of that moment. I think your story really cuts to the prime skill of visual storytelling - establishing complex ideas and big ideas and complete universes - but doing so very quickly and with images. Get stuck in!