At first, I wanted the script to have no dialogue, with expressions being shown through body language and small noises from the character. But I realized toward the end that would not be possible. So some dialogue was added.
Hi Annie - I think your first instincts about this script were right - no dialogue. I think you can and should do this as a mime-show - you've got the system of colours and caste that you teach to the audience in the first few moments and I'm sure you can do things visually, so the shopkeeper pointing to a sign that has a line through the 'non-reader' colour feather symbol etc - a shake of the head, a jabbing finger etc - the same is true for the encounters between the sympathetic characters - you've got this visual system of kinship - use it. Once you start boarding this, I think you'll find you can do it without dialogue and it will be much stronger for doing so too. This draft works as a means of telling you what's going on between the characters, but I think your audience can figure it out... ask yourself this, how would Hitchcock do it...? Think about it was a relationship of 'looking' - characters looking, the camera looking where they're looking, cutting back to the characters' faces to show 'thinking' and then back again... Try it :)
Hi Annie - I think your first instincts about this script were right - no dialogue. I think you can and should do this as a mime-show - you've got the system of colours and caste that you teach to the audience in the first few moments and I'm sure you can do things visually, so the shopkeeper pointing to a sign that has a line through the 'non-reader' colour feather symbol etc - a shake of the head, a jabbing finger etc - the same is true for the encounters between the sympathetic characters - you've got this visual system of kinship - use it. Once you start boarding this, I think you'll find you can do it without dialogue and it will be much stronger for doing so too. This draft works as a means of telling you what's going on between the characters, but I think your audience can figure it out... ask yourself this, how would Hitchcock do it...? Think about it was a relationship of 'looking' - characters looking, the camera looking where they're looking, cutting back to the characters' faces to show 'thinking' and then back again... Try it :)
ReplyDelete